May 29, 2016

Evanescence – Tourniquet

Posted in Lyrics, Music Video, Personal Post tagged , at 7:03 pm by LynxLee


It’s been almost years since I listened to heavy rock bands like Evans Blue, Parabelle and the likes. This track, I’ve stumbled upon a karaoke machine application listening to someone singing this with a soulful feel to it along with pure angst. It’s almost like love and hate all in one. It’s dark music for sure, but sometimes this expression is comforting – particularly when someone makes you wanna scream inside (because you can’t scream for real).

It’s like a silent scream in your head – only you know how loud it could get. Perhaps I’m slightly insane, perhaps I’m normal; but when you get to the point where you start checking on yourself or others almost every few hours (or minutes or seconds) – it gets overwhelming. Looking in the mirror, measuring your heart-rate, your weight, your journal (sanity), your words you typed, your emails, your sms, your conversation, your clothing, your hair, your face, your actions, your reactions, your bank account, your floor, your car, your phone – I mean; you get my point.

You ran through that maze, but you didn’t really want to. You went to visit that friend/person, but you didn’t really want to. You did everything right, but in time – it turns out wrong. You mean what you said and did at that moment in time, but when situations changed – you knew it was what you meant then, but not anymore now. Dream and Desire – Warning and Withdrawals. Come and Go, Pick and Let Go. It’s not all simple and direct, isn’t it? You’re attractive and not up to your own standards at the same time.

Why/How do we keep doing this? Sometimes letting it all go and going for a swim or a run, or spending some time with your friends or family may be all you could rely on. To avoid being hurt or disappointed, you just stop doing what it is you do. Some point in time you wonder if anyone cares?! I mean, really does.

Show of hands – how many people you know would be there for you (and be sincerely honest and caringly love you) no matter what? Is that realistic?

It’s better detach from everything sometimes and just – just – BE. Maybe that’s how it feels like when you’re stuck for 3 months without anything to hold on to – you’d need to fully depend on yourself. Perhaps that’s normal – but I don’t believe that.

My God, I need help. Cleanse me. I feel like I’m somewhat numb from everything overwhelming. Perhaps I’ve asked for this, but certainly I can’t handle it alone.

But at the same time, I don’t really want your company. Not anymore.

Maybe.

Reference: http://genius.com/Evanescence-tourniquet-lyrics

hqdefault (1)Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I’m dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

[Verse 1]
I tried to kill my pain
But only brought more
So much more
I lay dying
And I’m pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I’m dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

[Chorus]
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation [x2]

[Verse 2]
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I’m dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

[Chorus]
{Screams: I WANT TO DIE!!!}
[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide

[Outro]
(Return to me salvation) [x2]

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